When Someone “Helps”

Today I’d like to talk about something that I’ve personally experienced. Something I find can be counterproductive to the less confident writer and unless it’s handled properly can come off quite abrasive.

Unsolicited advice, critiques, suggestions… however you want to word it, whatever you want to call it… it can be really quite annoying and a bit damaging to the delicate confidence of a writer.

Now while I am quite confident in my poetry, I stand by my writing and voice when I write poetry, the novel I’m working on is a different story. I often suffer from imposter syndrome, I lack confidence and am overly critical of my skill as a novelist. So when someone decides to share their opinion or critique of a post or excerpt it can really take some rallying to pump myself up afterwards. While I am sure this person was completely harmless in their suggestions and overall was doing so from a good place, I wonder though is it even necessary?

I ask this because well… for starters, it’s a first draft, it’s a rough first draft, there will be errors, there will be things that need fixing. If that had been taken into account, is the advice helpful? Probably not. You’re doing more damage to that insecure writer rather than lifting them up.

Am I going to continue writing? Absolutely!! Am I going to try to edit the excerpts as best as I can before posting them so no one can come at me with this advice… yup!!

The moral of the story. Think twice before opening your mouth to a writer… I mean it.

Have you received unsolicited advice that was counterproductive? More harm than good? Let me know in the comments.

As always, drink your water, take your Turkey out of the freezer if you’re cooking one and stay well.

  One thought on “When Someone “Helps”

  1. November 25, 2020 at 5:49 am

    Yeah, I totally relate to that and used to take critiques roughly, but all that changed after I worked under a particularly abusive editor who had no qualms about telling you that your work sucked for no particular reason other than it didn’t meet her personal benchmarks. Nowadays everything else pales in comparison though, so I guess it was a good thing I went through that.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. January 9, 2021 at 3:19 pm

    The Turkey 😳😳😳 oh no.

    Jk, I’m sorry people are so insensitive. It’s hard to put your hard work out there and have people be unkind.

    Liked by 1 person

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